Know Your Tribe

Growing up, I never really fit in anywhere. A square peg surrounded by round holes, I would cling to the edges of various groups, trying to meld. 

It never worked. 

In college, I found many like minded, accepting people and the courage to just be me. I stopped trying to fit in and instead created my own fit. 

And I found Mike. 

Still a misfit, but paired with another. It was as good as any fit could have been. 

Then one day, while living in Korea, we walked into a pub in Itaewon, Seoul and found a cast of characters so odd, so colorful, with such depth and diversity that I felt I was finally home. Imagine the tv show Cheers with many more players and far more interesting plots. 

Everyone had a unique backstory that brought them to Itaewon. There were soldiers and retirees, English teachers and journalists, embassy staff and entrepreneurs, expats and Korean nationals.  There were people escaping bad family situations and money troubles, recovering from broken hearts, abusive relationships, and drug addictions and those just trying to find themselves. Some were very wealthy with drivers and trust funds. Some were broke and borrowing their next beer. There were those who'd landed in Korea and became tied down to it, and those who desperately wanted to escape.  

These weren't your typical white picket fence folks.  They were different. All of them. Mike and I soon found ourselves knitted quite nicely within their expat community. 

The ringleader of this crazy circus was a German Aussie named Gunter. He owned the pub which was the headquarters of the crew.  Mike and he quickly become "best mates."  

Long after we left Korea and Gunter retired to Thailand, they remained close. Every Christmas they played a beer drinking boot game over Skype. They did the same for each of their birthdays.  

With our return to Korea this summer, Gunter decided it was time to pay Itaewon a visit. We hadn't seen each other face to face in almost 8 years. 

It was like a homecoming of sorts. An older, wrinkly, gray haired homecoming without the fancy dresses and a whole lot more beer. But still. Homecoming. People we hadn't seen or heard from in many years came out to play. Once again, I felt I'd found my fit. 

New feats of strength were endured and conquered. 

Please note that this enormous glass of beer was shared by many players. Mike did not drink this alone. We are no longer young and foolish. Just foolish. 

We ate late night Korean BBQ with the ever present soju. 

There was American Idol, the old folks in Korea version.  

No longer the Dancing Queen, young and sweet. But still fun!

There were a few hatchets buried, too. 

Because who has the energy to keep up with old grudges or the breath to argue when you're busy blowing up condoms on your head?

Or kissing on your best mate?

Or drinking out of what is affectionately called the Sa, or death, Glass. 

Again, lots of beer shared by many players. Still, I don't recommend you try this at home. Not without proper training. 

It was a truly wonderful weekend, reminding me of what I love most about Korea. 

Korea is where I found my tribe.  

As most expats throughout time will tell you, we are a hodgepodge lot, full of heart and passion and depth. 

And beer. Lots and lots of beer. 

Coming home to my tribe brought me so much joy. Seeing these guys together again feels right. Very right. For the first time in years, it's right. 

The best part is seeing my kids find their tribe here, too.  They are making friends from all over the world, enriching their lives and broadening their views. 

A simple trip to the neighborhood playground is like a UN convention. 

South African, Canadian, British, Korean, Thai, French, German, Chinese, Argentinian, Russian, and American.

Each discovering the world and each other while making lifelong connections in this crazy place called Itaewon. 

So know your tribe, my friends. 

They'll always have your back.